Wellness

October 17, 2017 by Joyce Harrell

Weaving My Life Tapestry

Yesterday as I was driving home from work, my thoughts went back over my life and pondered many things Mike and I had experienced during our 38 years of marriage. I saw a picture of a tapestry in my mind. Not the beautiful front side, but the backside of the tapestry where all the knotted threads, uneven colors, and even mistakes could be viewed. Thoughts began to swirl around in my head about the different threads creating my personal life tapestry. Joyous times could be woven with light and bright colors of yellow, gold, pink, blue, white, green, lavender, and maybe a splash of tan or sand color.

Brightly colored threads would represent things like our wedding and the birth of our children. We’ve been blessed to bring 3 beautiful children into this world and you know for years boys have been represented by blue and girls by pink. (although now, I realize I’m not being politically correct to attach gender biased colors to boys and girls, lol) Our grandchildren are a ray of sunshine and brighten my day every time I get to see them so I think yellow would be great to share how I feel about my grandchildren.

Have you ever thought about the events of your life are weaving a tapestry? The word tapestry is a noun depicting a heavy piece of cloth where colored threads are woven in and out to form a picture. The picture side is beautifully crafted and perfect appearing while the backside is where all the work took place. The threads were strategically placed and mapped for the front side to appear as it does. The word tapestry can also be used to refer to a sequence of events or complex combinations. I think of Carole King’s second album Tapestry as it is made up of beautifully written songs woven from her life.

There are other colors woven in my tapestry as I’m sure there are in your tapestry. Dark times. Rich colors. Blacks, browns, deep purple, dark rose, red, and darker colors of green and blue. On the backside, the dark times of our lives weave in and out of our tapestry accompanied by deep pain and suffering. This is not at all what we were anticipating as we enjoyed the celebration thread times. Here’s a look at the backside of a carefully woven or crafted tapestry art:

As a woman of faith it’s really easy to see God’s handiwork as He participated in the weaving of the celebration times of my life. Those times when bright and airy colors were added to my life tapestry. Notice in the picture how the foundation colors are sturdy and strong. They are darker and add definition.

To be honest, even during the dark times in my life I could feel always God with me as those painful threads were woven in and out of my life tapestry…until my son died. I won’t get into the details in this writing how low I actually got related to my faith, but I can admit, it was pretty low. (I will be sharing that in the future though) It’s been almost 9 months since I spoke to my son on this earth in his physical body. I still talk to him as if he can hear me. I believe maybe he can. Almost 9 months later, and I’m just starting to feel again…just a little bit. Feeling a little bit is more than feeling dead.

You may have experienced times in your life where you didn’t feel God. It doesn’t have to be the loss of a child. Tragedy and trauma come in many forms. Trauma or tragedy comes in the form of abuse, a bad health report, loss of a parent, a spouse, a close friend or relative, an accident, or any other event that takes you from your everyday experience into an unexpected place in a moment of time. I believe often we only want people to see the finished tapestry. The beautiful outside. We don’t want to share or admit to the ugly weaving on the backside.

My tapestry was still being woven. Even when I didn’t see it. Even when I didn’t feel it. When I turn my tapestry around to look at the beautiful side, I see a woman who loves more, who feels more, and who cares more. I’m more empathetic and sympathetic to the suffering of those around me. I see friends sitting with me in my virtual red tent and we have our coffee or tea and we fill our cups as we share our lives. I see healing.

I’m extending an invitation for you to join me on this incredible healing journey. A journey where we connect as human beings, and share, and leave behind the facade that everything is OK all the time. A journey where we share our unfinished tapestries. I’m beginning to find my voice again and I want to share it with you and I want to hear your voice. I’m inviting you to join me as I begin to write my newsletters again. Sit with me as we sit together and talk about our tapestries.

I invite you to be AUTHENTICALLY YOU…

June 15, 2017 by Joyce Harrell

Beauty Out Of The Ashes

Defining moments

There comes a time in many of our lives where there are defining moments. Those type of moments that make or break us. For me personally, losing a child has been one of those moments.

Wanting to die and needing to live

I’m being honest here while I share raw and authentic experiences as I’ve faced the valley of the shadow of death. There is no course you can take to prepare yourself for the loss of a child. There aren’t any “how-to” manuals after the loss of a child that gives you clear cut steps to wade through the many dimensions of pain and grief that you will experience.

The grief process, I’ve found, is very personal and no two people will experience the same journey. There are many similar experiences, however, everyone grieves differently. There has been a fine line many days for me between wanting to die, and knowing I need to live and somehow rise up from the deep loss.

Walking this journey alone

One realization has become very clear on this journey I didn’t ask for. I walk this journey alone. This doesn’t mean friends and loved ones don’t give support and encouraging words. What I mean is only YOU can decide how you walk the journey. Only YOU can make the decision to get up everyday, or retreat to your bed. Only YOU can decide to walk though the pain, or drown yourself with pills or alcohol to cover the pain.

It’s painful. So very painful. I’ve experienced actual physical pain along this journey. It’s still very fresh for me as of writing this post. This grief journey started for me on January 17, 2017. You can read a little about it here: The Day My Life Changed.

I’ve given the creation of this article a lot of contemplation. I’ve experienced many emotions so far. Don’t be fooled. When you hear others talk about “stages of grief”… just let it go in one ear and out the other. Grief is not linear. Kubler Ross talks about 5 stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance…just like grief happens in a neat little package like that. It does’t happen like that. Grief is fluid.

For sure, the first thing that happens is denial. You just cannot believe this horrible even has happened. We are not supposed to bury our children. After denial… (and denial isn’t something that happens one time, and you go on to another phase), for a while, the grief journey is a moment by moment experience.

So as I share with you here, the real reason is for me to be totally open and transparent about my journey so that you as someone who has also lost a child or experienced a trauma will learn:

you aren’t alone
it helps to connect with others going through the same thing
where to find really helpful resources
where to connect with others
how to respond to those people who say really stupid things
to not feel guilt for whatever emotions you are experiencing
it’s ok to take time to rest
there is no timeline to “get over it”
living and healing is a choice we make every day

Living

There were days at the beginning where I just wanted to die. I didn’t have a plan to end my own life. I just know living was almost more than I could bear. I was in a fog. It took me almost 5 weeks to beginning coming out of the fog. (and I had gone back to work and didn’t know I was in a fog) I’ve experienced many emotions including anger, anxiety, fear, peace, and even hate.

I’m not a psychotherapist. I’m a nurse, a wellness coach, a ministers wife, and just a woman who is trying to live again after losing one of the most precious lives in my life.

Journey with me…

Live again…

Laugh again…

Love again…

I feel like I’m living in the ashes. I’m expecting beauty to rise out of those ashes. I’m not there yet. I’m not sure when I will…

I’m just being Authentically Joycelynn…

A Ministry Wife’s Transparent Journey of Life, Loss, Doubt, & Faith

August 2, 2016 by Joyce Harrell

6 Benefits of Mindful Breathing

What are benefits of mindful breathing? It’s something we do everyday, every moment of our lives and we don’t really think about it do we? It’s automatic. Human beings breathe an average of 17,000 to 20,000 times per DAY! Is that crazy or what? How many times out of that 20,000 did you give ANY thought to that breath? I would daresay… most could say 0.

What is mindful breathing? How does it impact other areas of your life? Here are 6 benefits of mindful breathing and I will also be sharing a 3 minute mindfulness breathing exercise!

Mindful breathing before a meal will help calm your nervous system bringing more awareness to the enjoyment of your food. Bring attention to your meal as you chew. Be present with what you are eating. It will help you slow down during a meal. Reducing stress helps to improve digestion.
During a stressful situation where anger and emotions are involved, if you will step away and practice mindful breathing you will notice how the tension reduces in your body. You will be able to shift your emotionally charged body to a place of balance and reason.
Mindful breathing helps to bring clarity to your thinking. If you are anxious or scattered in your thinking, taking a few moments to bring attention to your breathing will help you regroup and focus on the task at hand.
Mindful breathing attention during different times in your work day will help relax and re-energize you during your day.
Mindful breathing promotes more clear communication. When you are able to be more present with individuals, you are able to be in a better listening mode and then you are able to better communicate your intentions. Rushing through a conversation or meeting keeps you from fully listening to the other individual.
Taking time for mindful breathing will improve your personal state of overall calmness and improves your own sense of personal well-being.

“If I had to limit my advice on healthier living to just one tip, it would be simply to learn how to breathe correctly.” Andrew Weil, MD

3 Minute Mindfulness Breathing Exercise

I want you to experience full attention to your breathing. This exercise is modified from the wellness program I attended: (Wellness Inventory)

1. Get in a comfortable position (lying, sitting, stannding, whatever is best for you. I personally LOVE my recliner)
2. Exhale deeply, contracting the belly.
3. Inhale slowly as you expand the abdomen.
4. Continue inhaling as you expand the chest.
5. Continue inhaling as you feel your collarbones lift.
6. Pause briefly. Don’t hold..
7. Exhale in reverse pattern, slowly. Release the shoulders, relax the chest, contract the belly.
8. Repeat.
This requires some practice to make the process smooth. Practice so that inhalation and exhalation are equal. Then allow the exhalation to become a little longer. Try this for at least 3 minutes.

Funny how we do something 20,000 times/day and never pay attention to it. Try over the next few days to take a few moments out during the day and pay attention to your breath. You will begin to find how this helps in a relaxation process. You will see just how stopping to pay attention to your breathing will help release tension and stress.

Here are a few breathing/mindfulness/relaxation/meditation audios from one of my favorite holistic doctors, Dr. Andrew Weil:

Breathing: The Master Key to Self Healing Self-Healing with Sound and Music Meditation for Optimum Health

When I first started my journed of wellness, I was overwhelmed and stressed to the max. When I took the Wellness Inventory Assessment as a wellness coach student I discovered my breathing was the least effective aspect of my life, and it was where I was most motivated to change to get my life back into a healing balance. This is one reason mindful breathing is so important to me now.

If you would like to discover where you are on the Wellness Continuum, you may want to contact me about taking the Wellness Inventory Assessment for yourself. The other thing you can do, if you haven’t already, is to opt in for my FREE E-book: De-Stress, Renew, Be Whole.

For now, BREATHE…

Be Well,

Joyce

August 1, 2016 by Joyce Harrell

What Is Wellness?

I wanted to talk a little bit about wellness or well-being concepts today. I’ve studied with colleagues of Dr. John Travis in the Wellness Inventory program. Here are a few concepts of Wellness according to Dr. John Travis:

1. Wellness is a choice – a decision you make to move toward optimal health.
2. Wellness is a way of life.
3. Wellness is a process…starting with an awareness of which direction to begin moving in.
4. Wellness is an integration of body, mind, and spirit…and all areas of that integration has a direct impact on all areas of your life.
5. Wellness is the loving acceptance of yourself.

Loving and appreciating yourself isn’t selfish. I’m not talking about elevating yourself above all others. It’s not like that. It’s a genuine love an appreciation of yourself so that you are able to make better choices. People around you see and respect the genuine you. Have you ever been around someone who had a great self-image? Compare to someone who feels down on themselves all the time. Quite a contrast.

If you are a mom with children still at home, think about what a great impact you will have on them as they see how you feel about yourself? It help’s to instill within them an honor for you, and it empowers confidence in the way they feel about themselves. If you honor yourself now, you will grant them the ability to have a better image of who they are…

When we honor and respect ourselves, we make better choices. We are modeling our choices in front of those around us.

Just so you know….I’m a work in progress. I’ll be talking and sharing about several dimensions of wellness over the next several weeks. Some of the dimensions I’m a champ! Other… well, like I said, I’m a work in progress. But one of the definitions of wellness is to be moving in the right direction. Not perfection!

During the course of the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing choices. Not hard fast “this is how you HAVE to do it” type of nurturing. YOU are the BEST judge to what your body and life needs!

I also like to share easy ways to add nurturing goodness to your routine. It’s GOT to be easy. We are learning to approach things without all the stress, right?

In regard to smoothies:

I LOVE them! I’m not always a recipe sort of person, so I’m just going to share some principles here. Create your own, and share in the group what you created!

Basic Smoothies:

1. You need a blender.

2. You need a liquid base. This can be water, milk, coconut milk, soy milk, almond milk, or something like rice milk. I usually start with about a cup or cup and a half. Go ahead and put this in your blender.

2. Greens. If you desire greens now is the time to add. I would start with something like baby spinach. It’s mild. Don’t worry, you really won’t taste it in your smoothie. You will just reap the benefits. I put a big handful into the blender and blend until smooth. You will have a nice shade of green liquid.

3. Creaminess. I love my smoothies to be creamy. You can achieve this by adding a banana or something like an avocado. Again, blend until smooth.

4. Protein. If you want to add a little extra protein, you can find non flavored whey powder, nut butters, greek yogurt, or any other protein powders. You can find whatever you need for your body’s needs. You can find protein powders that are gluten free, dairy free, and soy free.

5. Fruit. Freeze your fruit. I love to add frozen berries. Add a little and blend to the consistency you want. I usually start with a cup. Blueberries make the smoothie have a purple color.

You can add stevia or honey to your smoothies, depending on whether you need to cut the carbs or not. And if you are EVER at a loss for ideas on smoothies, Pinterest is the never ending idea maker to create something just for your taste.

Smoothies can be green smoothies, fruit smoothies, veggie smoothies, detox smoothies, meal replacements, on the run nutrition, and great for snacks.

Treat Your Feet

• 2 Tablespoons of Cornmeal
• 1 Tablespoon of Mashed Banana
Stir cornmeal and banana together until evenly
blended. Massage paste all over feet, working into
calluses for about 30 seconds, or until skin feels
smooth. (Cornmeal exfoliates and has antifungal
properties!)

Take time out again for at least 5 minutes of “alone” time. Time where you take a few deep breaths and let out the stressors of the day. Even if you have to go into the bathroom and lock the door. DO IT! I’m starting you out on 5 minutes, because if you NEVER do it, even 5 minutes is a good start.