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Wellness

November 26, 2010 by Joycelynn

Tips for Celebrating the Holiday’s After a Loss

Entering the holiday season after a loss or change in family dynamics can be an emotional adjustment or filled with obstacles to allow celebration. Often taking the first step is difficult. You find it difficult to decorate the tree, or even shop for other loved ones. You may feel hesitance or some guilt for being able to experience the holiday seasons and your loved one cannot. I have gathered a few ideas that may help you usher in the season that has meaning and even enjoyment. This came also out of my own sense of loss since I lost my father a few years ago on December 2. The turn of events started 2 days before the family was coming all the way to see me for Thanksgiving that year.

For me, the holidays officially begin at Thanksgiving and continue through the New Years celebrations. I am a Christian so I celebrate Christmas. Others reading may celebrate Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or other celebratory festivities. Loss is universal, and so is the pain and feelings associated with the loss. People experience loss differently, but I have found with my experience as a nurse for over 20 years, entering the holiday season is usually awkward or even dreaded especially the first year after the loss of a loved one.

I remember when my son was in Iraq my husband and I had our 25th Wedding Anniversary. My other children wanted to celebrate but I could not do this with my son in Iraq. I felt like I didn’t have the right to celebrate when he was going through what he was going through in the war. That year at Christmas I had a hard time putting up the Christmas tree or even buying presents because I just didn’t know how to celebrate the holidays and didn’t want to until he was home safe and sound. Although my son came home alive (and I am very blessed and thankful for this because I know many others did not), I felt a sense of loss and guilt that I was celebrating and he was fighting for his life and ours. That year I did manage to find the strength to put up the tree, and enjoy Christmas with my husband, children, and grandchildren. We celebrated again when he returned home two weeks later.

1. Grieving can be very crippling. So my first tip is to give yourself permission to grieve and acknowledge your pain. This is real and doesn’t need to be overlooked or covered up. Share with those close to you how your are feeling. Realize that everyone goes through the stages of grieving and you are normal to experience these. These stages are isolation and denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These are known as the Kubler-Ross stages of grief.

2. Call on family and friends to help you with tasks. If you normally decorated a tree with the person who is no longer here, call on other friends or family members to help with this event. Shop with others. Surround yourself with those who love you and want to support you. You may have a tendency want to withdraw, but resist the isolation.

3. Attend a memorial service if there is one near you. Many times the local hospice groups will have a memorial service. One thing I did every year as the manager of a cancer center was to hold a memorial service for the families of the loved ones we had lost in the cancer center. I didn’t limit the amount of family member who were able to attend. We would start out having a few songs. There were always children there, so we sang fun songs for them. We played games, and even had door prizes. Great food was catered, and then we had the memorial service. A very special time for each family to have their loved ones name mentioned, and they lit a candle in memory of them. We had the lights down low, and at the end the room was filled with the light of the loved ones. It was so awesome, but it was also a way for people to enter the holiday season.

4. More on lighting the candles. That idea came from a co-worker at the hospital where I worked. This was something that was done for her the year her father died. You obtain a large white candle. When you decorate make sure you have that candle included in the process. You can place pictures of your loved one and flowers or what ever you want to place in that area. During any events or anytime you want during the season, light the candle and it will bring remembrance about your loved one. You could even have your own memorial time with family where everyone shares their favorite memories about their loved one.

5.Change your traditions around just a little if you are uncomfortable doing things exactly as you have always done them.

6. Give yourself permission to do less. For example, skip sending the Christmas cards or doing the cookie exchange. Also, don’t celebrate exactly the same way you have in the past. Change it up; start a new tradition. (ideas from my friend Connie Shanks)

7.Remember everyone grieves a little differently and heals at a different pace. When life events like a loss happen, unbalance in your wellness will occur. This loss will affect most all areas of your life. If you would like information about how to bring the balance back into your life, please contact me.

My thoughts are with you as we enter this holiday season. May you experience love, richness, and abundance with those surrounding you this year.  Happy Holidays! Joyce

Filed Under: Wellness

November 10, 2010 by Joycelynn

Caring for Yourself

Caring for  yourself is just one subject I cannot get away from. Whether you are a nurse, going through a rough time, taking chemotherapy, or are a caregiver, one thing is for sure: taking care of yourself is a non-negotiable. I wanted to share a few ideas for self-care. I had originally written this for those going through chemotherapy. However, we all need to take time for our self care! This is for any one, especially caregivers!  This can be self, (we do care for ourselves, right), moms, grandma’s, nurses, dad’s, siblings, children (caring for parents), and any other role where you are expending energy to care for an individual.

The past several months I have been involved in adding education to my coaching skills as a nurse. The Wellness Inventory training has been awesome by way of having me look at how I care for myself. It’s one thing to take training to learn to be the best coach. What has made this training different is I am looking at me first. What an eye opener. I want to share a few small steps to help you start on the self-care journey.

Acknowledging

Taking time to acknowledge yourself as someone worthy to care for is a good place to start. Time after time I see caregivers totally deny their own care, while continuously at the bedside of a loved one. Take one minute right now, and acknowledge yourself as someone who is not being selfish by caring for your own self. What many caregivers fail to understand is when you don’t take time to refill, there is a time when the fuel runs out. You can’t run on empty. When you run on empty, your body will take from other vital places in yourself. When the crisis is over, all the areas neglected will cry out from the neglect and many times illness fills in the empty places. If you are the one receiving treatment, I have found many of my patients don’t take time just to be, or take thought for themselves. Often you carry a burden of being strong for others. Even in your own wellness journey you really neglect your own self. Above and beyond  medical treatment is the emotional, mental, and spiritual self care. Acknowledging these other aspects of wellness is vital. I also take time to acknowledge my relationship with God. It is in the still quiet moments I find peace like no other time.

Breathing

How often do you pay attention to your breathing? Get into a comfortable position. This may be in the recliner, on the bed, on the floor, the couch, or your most comfortable chair. Close your eyes and allow your mind to concentrate on your breathing. Notice how fast you are breathing. Notice how long your intake breath is and how long your output breath is. Where is your mind wandering to? Are you uncomfortable in just being still? If you notice your breathing feels restricted, readjust your position. Are you wearing clothes that allow non-restricted breathing? Try this for about a minute. After you are comfortable and relaxed with the process, then allow your mind to wander to something you have gratitude for. Think about gratitude for a few moments. Relax in the moment until you are ready, and then allow yourself to come back to the moment. How did this feel to you? Do you notice any difference in how you feel. You may feel resistance the first several times you try this. Don’t worry, you will start to look forward to it. We start every class with this exercise, and I now start every coaching session with this exercise. I personally go through this exercise when starting to feel I am in a stressful moment.

Consciousness

I wanted to convey awareness, so I found the word consciousness as a synonym for being aware. Take a walk and really become aware to your surroundings. Become aware to what you hear. Then pay attention to the smells. Look at details. Touch the grass, the leaves, the rocks. This may sound a little weird at first. This is just a simple exercise in awareness. You will be surprised at what you take for granted. Taking a walk is different than taking a walk to be aware. The next time you go to the grocery store, instead of checking off the items on the list and getting out as fast as you can, take a look at the people around you. Do they look happy? Smile at them. Watch children interact with their parents. Is there an elderly person there with an adult child helping them shop?  Is anyone in a wheelchair? Smell the bakery. Allow all your sense to experience the moment. This all actually ties in with gratitude, acknowledgment and awareness. The exercises mentioned are just to help you become aware of yourself and your surroundings.

Small Steps

These A,B,Cs’ I have just mentioned are a very small start in beginning self-care. Realizing the need to take better care of yourself can be overwhelming in itself. You are thinking “where do I start”? As suggested, just start with a few short exercises to increase your awareness. Acknowledge one or two areas in your life, pay attention to your breathing, and increase your consciousness. Just taking a few minutes to stop the hustle and bustle, the activity, and the noise is a great start.

I found as I took a spin on the Wellness Inventory wheel the areas I most neglected were that of breathing, and taking time for myself. This insight has been instrumental as I have started my own wellness journey. Any change takes a first step. The Wellness Inventory Wheel has helped me target areas of growth and enabled me to prioritize my own plan for change. Using this tool is so insightful. I would love to share this tool with you and help you start on prioritizing your own wellness journey.  I highly recommend this tool for any caregiver, and any person who is currently experiencing a wellness crisis.

Filed Under: Wellness Tagged With: balanced life, self care, stress reduction, wellness

September 23, 2010 by Joycelynn

Neutropenic Diet: Helpful Tips!

There was a time when I could totally recite what a neutropenic patient should and should not eat. I remember how hard it was to tell a patient they shouldn’t juice while on chemo because the physician I worked with at the time felt like if they were giving an oxidant therapy, the patient shouldn’t be eating things so high in antioxidants. Whew! Glad that’s over. I am going to start by explaining neutropenia. When a patient undergoes chemotherapy, or other therapies in which the good cells are attacked along with the bad ones, there is always that high risk the white blood cells are going to be some of those cells attacked. The white blood cells help provide protection against infection, particularly the neutrophils. You physician will be checking your blood work on a regular basis.

Most chemotherapy agents that affect the white blood cells have a nadir (where cells are at their lowest point) of around 7-10 days. Some agents have different nadirs. Your health care provider can give you an estimate as to when your cells will drop the lowest. Medications can be given by subcutaneous injection that may keep the white counts from dipping so low. You may have experienced a Neulasta injection the day after treatment, or receive daily Neupogen injections. Even if you receive these injections, it is not a sure fire way to prevent neutropenia. You were probably instructed to take your temperature daily while on chemotherapy or other treatments that affect the blood. An elevated temperature can be the first sign of infection when you have a low white count, before you even have symptoms. If this happens, don’t mask it with Tylenol and go about your business.  Let your provider know. OK, so now you have a general understanding about neutropenia. So now, you ask, what does my food have to do with being neutropenic?  Oh… Don’t forget to use meticulous handwashing, by the way!

neutropenic diet guidelines

As I mentioned before, when your white count is low, you do not have the “fighters” against  infection in full force. So, what that means is you do not have the defense system of most people. I can eat anything I want or be around hundreds of germs or invaders, and my immune system will take over and fight the battle for me and I won’t become sick. This includes food. Many foods are laden with fungus, bacteria, or germs and most people can eat these foods without ill effects. Not the neutropenic patient. You must be careful and avoid certain foods during a neutropenic episode. I remember the hospital even made sterile ice during the hospitalizations of neutropenic patients. [Read more…] about Neutropenic Diet: Helpful Tips!

Filed Under: Wellness Tagged With: neutropenic diet, neutropenic diet foods, neutropenic diet guidelines, neutropenic diet information

September 5, 2010 by Joycelynn

Resting Better Working Night Shift

Are you one of the 6,000,000 Americans that work the night shift? I was! My routine was EVERY Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights from 6:45 PM to 7:15 AM.  I added a contract nursing job on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday night from 10:00 PM to 6:30 AM. That contract nursing job was only temporary, and believe it or not, I actually felt better in the few weeks I worked it since I was on a routine.

This brings me to this subject. How do you work night shift and maintain well-being? I have now researched many articles, and studies on the subject of working night shift. From these readings I have developed a list of 8 things I  faithfully did while I was on on this schedule to maintain and improve my well-being and rest. (and a few bonus ideas)

1) Set a goal to sleep 8 hours everyday. In the past, it has been easy for me to sleep only 4.5 or 5 hours, get up to the bathroom, and then be wide awake; only to find it is time to go back to work and I have not slept enough. One habit I am formed which transformed my life in this area. I had darkened my bedroom more than it was previously darkened. There were little cracks of light seeping through the windows, and I corrected that issue. It is now VERY dark in my room. I use room darkening curtains, and it’s made a huge difference!

2) There were several articles that discussed wearing very dark sunglasses as you leave the place of employment and on the trip home. There has been research to show that once your subject your eyes to the bright morning light, this does something to you body that says “wake up”. So, this is on my to do list, and I will be purchasing this item TODAY!

3) Eat low glycemic.  I already do this. HOWEVER, I was very excited to see this was suggested in several articles. One new piece of information was to have the heavy meal in the evening prior to going on the shift. Do not eat a heavy meal in the middle of the night. Do not eat a heavy breakfast. So, take small low glycemic snacks and eat every three hours. I always have a nutritional shake or healthy finger foods with me during the night so that I can eat or snack quickly and ensure I am getting good nutrition. (I also lost 35 pounds eating this way). Research has shown that due to several endocrine factors, and increased insulin resistance for night workers, it is very important to learn these concepts.

4) Small balanced breakfast before going to bed. Do not go to bed hungry. AND make sure you eat a meal that is balanced. Do not eat a heavy meal prior to lying down. This will lay heavy on your stomach, and really make you quite uncomfortable. My favorite is to make a healthy smoothie, making sure I get healthy protein, carbohydrates and fats. A good complex carb with a high fiber content will not overwhelm your stomach, but take a while to digest, and allow you to sleep without having that “knawing” sensation in your belly.

5) Take the phone off the hook, turn the ringer off,  or place your cell  phone out of your room. DO NOT feel like you have to be available to the phone just because someone calls. You may be concerned with missing emergency calls. Work out another system. With a TRUE emergency, someone will come and knock on your window, or bedroom door.

6) White noise. I have also read many papers on background noise. I sleep with a “spa” type machine that plays a “rain” type sound. A bedside air filter will do the same thing. This not only drowns out any noise that is going on in the house and neighborhood, but it relaxes my mind. This is a MUST HAVE for anyone working night shift.

7) Mild to moderate exercise, before you go to work. At the end of the shift, it can get you pumping, and ready to be awake instead of getting ready for sleep.

8) Another point on nutrition. Find a good multivitamin and antioxidant. Even if you eat EVERYTHING raw, and natural, I totally believe the body needs something to fill in all nutritional gaps. There are too many external factors today that comes against our bodies causing free radicals. I have heard people say from time to time they don’t take vitamins because they don’t want expensive pee. Honestly, the body knows what it has need of on a day to day basis. What I may not need one day, I may need the next. How do you really know?

BONUS Ideas…

9) I used essential oils as well. Lavender is widely used for it’s calming and relaxing properties.  Add a few drops of Lavender to pillows, bedding, or bottoms of feet for a restful night’s sleep. I personally have used doTERRA Essential oils for almost 5 years as of this article revision (8/20/2016). You can find Lavender and other nice blends for relaxation support on my essential oils website.

10) A nice cup of Sleepytime Tea before retiring! AH! This is so relaxing. Love my tea!

11) Try to not get your mind wired by stimulation with electronics prior to lying down. Resting your mind 30-60 minutes before you try and sleep always helps me unwind! This is SO important!!!

12) I have used Melatonin. There are study’s suggesting 3 mg.

13) Warm soaking bath about 30 minutes before lying down.  Not a HOT bath, but a nice warm bath.  You can add a “sleepytime” bath oil blend. I’ve found several nice natural ones at Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, or another nice natural place. You can also make your own by using Bronner’s unscented castile liquid soap, and adding a few drops of a lavender/chamomile oil combination.

I hope you find some of these hints and tips helpful!

Update:  9/5/2014    I recently worked nights again. I did not have a set schedule. I found this was not good for my well-being. I did better a few years ago with a set schedule. I was unable to create a set schedule with this position, so I realized to enhance my wellness, I was going to need to make a change. And I did…  Be open to say NO to things that do not support your well-being. I completed my wellness coaching programs during end of 2010. I actually made a change and left night shift for several years. It was good for me to begin saying YES to what my body needed.

Filed Under: Wellness

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