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caregiver

May 13, 2013 by Joycelynn

Support & Seeking Safety

When we write from our own experiences, our stories become more than words. We write from a place of pain, joy, hurt, emotion, or peace. We can write merely words, or we can write to connect with you, the reader in a way that bonds us as humans in this world where caring, emotion, and authenticity are lacking these days.

I’ve been on a journey for several years now. A journey to find paths of healing for my oldest son who was diagnosed with PTSD and TBI while in Iraq. What I really failed to realize until this past week is that even with all my seeking…my prayers…my longing for healing…my searching for answers…it really didn’t matter until HE wanted help. I’ve read, researched, and grasped for answers to help and until now, there has been minimal effect because I was the one searching…not him.

What I do know, is that I love him with all my heart. He is my first-born. The one I probably made all my mistakes with before the other two came along and I knew more of what to do in their raising. I feel in my searching that even my other two precious children may have felt a pain of neglect from time to time the past 8 years. It’s really not been all about him. What I realized in the scriptures from Matthew 18, is that the shepherd  went after the 1 lost sheep. The other 99 sheep were safe. They may have felt neglected by the shepherd. However, the shepherd couldn’t rest until they were all safe. I think that’s been my journey. I’ve longed for healing and wholeness in all my children.

I hear about “tough love”. Be strong. You need to just close your door on him and when he comes around, then be there for him. There was just something in my heart that could not go all the way with this. Had I felt fear for my own safety, I may have incorporated “tough love”.  To a point I have though. Behavior without boundaries or accountability is just enabling. We haven’t enabled, but have sought safety until help could be found. When unacceptable behavior exists, I do believe it needs to be confronted. Accountability is very important. Underneath the wrappings of self-destructive behavior related to PTSD is a scared, vulnerable, and emotionally naked individual who experienced trauma at a level we cannot possibly understand unless we have experienced the same thing. So…don’t enable…but don’t judge.

PTSD isn’t a respecter of persons, race, gender, age, or nationality. My personal experience is with an individual whose experiences from Iraq and the fallout from after (yes, the emotional fallout has continued to continue year after year) has led to now where I am still seeking for help and answers. The difference now…he is too! PTSD isn’t limited to military…but includes traumas from the past including rape, childhood molestation, and other incomprehensible acts.

 

As a caregiver (I’m a nurse too), I too find the journey taxing on my own personal health and mental well-being That’s why I am constantly giving attention to my own self-care. See, I seek safety for myself as well. Without my own well-being, I will be ineffective to help anyone else.

Thank you for listening to my heart. As I journey toward more answers and share with you what I learn, my prayer is that you will be empowered with tools to help those you are connected to as they seek safety.

Filed Under: Wellness Tagged With: caregiver, PTSD, TBI, wellness

November 9, 2012 by Joycelynn

Essential Oils for the Caregiver’s Soul

I love the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series. The uplifting stories are so inspiring and encouraging. Words can create an environment of peace and healing. Essential oils can have this same affect. At this very moment, I am diffusing an calming and uplifting blend of wild orange and a proprietary blend called Elevation. There is a vibrational energy associated with oils. To explain what I mean by vibrational energy, this is a scientific principle which defines all matter with a frequency level. By using essential oils with a calming or uplifting frequency, we can actually create this environment in our own bodies. Currently I am reading Valerie Wormwood’s book Aromatherapy for the Soul. She does a wonderful job exploring essential oils and sharing how properties of the oils are so much more than the smell.I am enjoying exploring the different vibrational energies of the oils. My favorites right now are the grounding, meditative oils.

 QUIET TIME

  During prayer and meditation for me, it is often easy to get distracted and allow sporatic thoughts to overtake my mind. This is a great use of essential oils because when you use oils that are more grounding and meditative, you usually aren’t sidetracked with other memories associated with some smells like cookies baking or grandmother’s perfume. I use meditative oils like Frankincense and Myrrh, and grounding oils like Sandalwood and Patchouli. Healing Oils of the Bible by David Stewart is another favorite of mine. There are over 188 references to essential oils in the Bible. Essential oils have been around the world from the beginning of time, and only in the past few years have these precious oils been explored in North America for their holistic healing properties.

HOLISTIC HEALING

  As a holistic nurse, I believe our health is more than our physical bodies. It is my belief that only when we approach health from a physicial, emotional, and spiritual framework can true healing begin. Healing doesn’t always mean curing. Healing can be an emotional letting go, even in times of transition from this life through the doors of leaving this world. Another favorite book of mine is Emotional Healing with Essential Oils.

SET UP YOUR SPACE

  Create a space for healing, prayer, meditation, and worship. This area needs to be clean, cleared, and de-cluttered. Set up your diffuser with a nice meditative or grounding blend. You can contact me directly at joyce@theessentialnurse.com  to discuss the oils I use and what is suggested for your particular need. Create a peaceful environment by placing a comfortable chair and soft lighting system. I am adding a waterfall fountain table top piece to my room where I write, pray, have my Bible study.

 HEALING PROPERTIES

 Properties of essential oils can can include relaxation, emotional release, stress reduction, energy, spiritual healing, balance, meditative, focus, grounding, centering, releasing, any many more. Don’t you feel overwhelmed many days by the hustle and bustle of responsibilities and duties? Taking time to step back, breathe, and become still for even a few minutes can often times bring balance to your energy that will enable you to continue without all the stress and disruption in your spirit.

 

Filed Under: Apothecary Tagged With: caregiver, Herbal Medicine, self care, wellness, wellness solutions

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