Authentically Joycelynn

Living Whole in the Kingdom of God

self care

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My Bed & Breakfast Weekend

What an awesome experience I had a few weeks ago. I was speaking at a women’s conference and instead of staying in a typical hotel, New Harvest Church arranged for me to stay in a Bed & Breakfast! This was a completely new venture for me. So I thought I’d share a few awesome pics and talk about sharing time with this lovely couple! This is Carrier House Bed & Breakfast in Ruthorfordton, NC Here is the link for their website: http://www.carrierhouses.com/Home.html

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Meet Dan and Lynn Hegeman! My hosts for a wonderful weekend! They are delightful and so interesting. When they found out I was there to speak on holistic health, our interest of all things natural came forward. Lynn had been in an herbalist program at one point in her life. Each morning I was there, Dan and Lynn prepared a beautiful breakfast. Fresh fruit and they displayed it so elegantly, served on china. I really wish I had taken a picture of the food. I had a spinach omelet one day, and French toast with a cream filling the other. Yummy!

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I had never experienced a Bed & Breakfast before. I was cautiously approaching this experience but quickly had my apprehension eased with their smiles and hospitality. My room was in the house on the left.

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Everything was decorated so tastefully. I’d love to be there at Christmas-time. One thing I did was placed my name on a leaf that would be used as decoration on the next year’s Christmas tree. All the guests were doing the same thing. The first morning I had breakfast with a couple who were there on a house hunt. they were retiring and moving to the area.

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Such a healing environment! Outside between the houses there were small waterfall displays and wonderful plants. I took time to be in the “present” and just enjoy… You know… I stopped and smelled the roses so to speak. It was great since I was speaking on Emotional Healing in the Saturday morning session.

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Another area of water and plants. I just can’t tell you how peaceful this was! It’s something to experience

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This was actually the first room I saw as I was checking in. It’s the parlor! I felt like I was back at my grandmother’s home as I was growing up. It was great to have this experience. Speaking on emotional and physical healing the next day. What a great way to set the stage for me. Experiencing such a healing place. My heart needed it that day.

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I loved the back entrance to the home I stayed in. Dan and Lynn had collected the most awesome things to display around the homes. Really. My grandma would have loved it.

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Well, this last pic isn’t a pic of the Bed & Breakfast I stayed in. It’s close though. This is the Norally House in Weaverville, NC.  It’s the view of the mountains from the retreat home I’ve secured for the first weekend in November of this year, 2013. I thought it was a fitting picture. It’s probably less than an hour from the Bed & Breakfast. Looking forward to sharing the Holistic Nourishment Retreat with about 18 women!

So that was my experience in a nutshell! It was awesome to have this experience during a time when it my spirit needed some healing. I appreciate the generosity of Dr. Joseph and Pastor Lynette Dutton for being such wonderful hosts at the conference and allowing me this experience!

 

 

 

 

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Prison in Your Mind: Chained to the Shackles of your False Belief

 

I was deeply moved by a recent article by Kate Powers titled “Beating the Bully”. It stirred up my own past history of hurt and deep rooted insecurity. Through great belief breakthrough coaching and completing several wellness coaching training programs, and REALLY understanding how GOD sees me, I am learning nothing but LIES clouded my thinking and self-esteem.

 

The Innocence Of Childhood

 

I remember being a very well adjusted, happy, healthy, self-confident child. I was totally blessed to be raised in a home where there was no sexual abuse, alcohol abuse, or any other dysfunctional abuse. We had a nice home, plenty of food, warm clothing, and heat in the winter. My parents loved us. Then we moved.

 

When I was 12 years old we moved to the country. The next door neighbors moved in as well. This was the summer before 7th grade. It was a great summer. I have twin brothers who are 3 years younger than I. The neighbors had 3 boys and a girl. The boys were 13, 12, 8, and the girl was 2. The other neighbor was a boy about 10. Everyone got along and I thought life couldn’t be better…until school started.

 

The Lies Start

 

 The next door neighbors and I caught the bus at the same place. This is where the fun began. I wondered what happened to the fun guys I had played with all summer. They began to tease me. They called me jolly green giant, Mr. Green Jeans, Riceland (a dumb name instead of Joycelynn), and whatever they could think of. Soon, I endured teasing on the bus ride to and from school, and then they got their friends involved at school in this fun teasing. It gets better. We went to the same church. All of a sudden I was being made fun of at church. Then my mother spoke to their mother. That sealed the coffin. It only got worse from there. I wanted to die.

 

This really went on for years. Things started to slow down around 11th grade. My brothers were picking up the slack. I remember crying and leaving the dinner table every night as my brothers told me I was so ugly I would never find a boyfriend and get married. By the way, have you seen my senior picture? I’m using it as the photo for this story. I wasn’t ugly. No one is ugly. Things began to look up for me. As the neighbor boys began to get quiet, my brothers also found other things to do and I began to breathe. That perky outgoing young lady started appearing again.

 

The Tide Is Turning

 

At some point in my senior year “the guy” that EVERYONE wanted to date, the pastor’s son, 4 years older than I, took an interest in me. He was the guy “to die for”. Totally the most gorgeous guy I had ever known. What a boost that was to my self-esteem. We did date a few times. I needed that experience!

 

At some point I started dating…you will never believe it… the oldest next door neighbor. What was I thinking? I guess people change. Things change. This was an on again, off again thing. For 3 years. I thought I had found my soul mate.

 

The Nail in the Coffin

 

As I mentioned, this was an on again, off again relationship. I really didn’t understand the lack of commitment at the time. I do now. Somewhere near the end of this relationship I finally asked why things were so rocky. His answer: my mother doesn’t want me dating you. THOSE were the words to haunt me for most of my adult life.

 

What these words did to me was bring one overshadowing LIE to my life. That LIE was: I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH! Have you ever believed that lie about yourself? This lie has followed me most of my adult life. I went to college out of state and never again lived at home except for college breaks. I fell in love, married, had three children, and I was still trying to prove I was good enough. Anytime there was a major event like graduating from nursing school, getting a promotion, receiving a certification: I made sure that news was made public enough so I could prove to people there was nothing wrong with me and that I WAS good enough. I wanted his mother to know there was nothing wrong with me. How tragic to live so many years trying to prove myself.

 

Freedom

 

God has really done a great work in my life. My eternal worth is priceless. The journey to freedom has been long and painful. Supporting our children to educate them on their Godly worth is imperative. I realize that I AM…. I am good enough. I am empowered. I am loved. I am strong. I AM… enough.

What lies have you believed? Many have lived a life of not being good enough and this stems from lies we believed about ourselves! There is hope! It’s time to realize your awesomeness! You ARE enough! Break those chains!  Break EVERY chain that lies and binds! Do you want help with this? Not sure how to do this? Contact me… joyce@theessentialnurse.com 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Essential Oils for the Caregiver’s Soul

I love the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series. The uplifting stories are so inspiring and encouraging. Words can create an environment of peace and healing. Essential oils can have this same affect. At this very moment, I am diffusing an calming and uplifting blend of wild orange and a proprietary blend called Elevation. There is a vibrational energy associated with oils. To explain what I mean by vibrational energy, this is a scientific principle which defines all matter with a frequency level. By using essential oils with a calming or uplifting frequency, we can actually create this environment in our own bodies. Currently I am reading Valerie Wormwood’s book Aromatherapy for the Soul. She does a wonderful job exploring essential oils and sharing how properties of the oils are so much more than the smell.I am enjoying exploring the different vibrational energies of the oils. My favorites right now are the grounding, meditative oils.

 QUIET TIME

  During prayer and meditation for me, it is often easy to get distracted and allow sporatic thoughts to overtake my mind. This is a great use of essential oils because when you use oils that are more grounding and meditative, you usually aren’t sidetracked with other memories associated with some smells like cookies baking or grandmother’s perfume. I use meditative oils like Frankincense and Myrrh, and grounding oils like Sandalwood and Patchouli. Healing Oils of the Bible by David Stewart is another favorite of mine. There are over 188 references to essential oils in the Bible. Essential oils have been around the world from the beginning of time, and only in the past few years have these precious oils been explored in North America for their holistic healing properties.

HOLISTIC HEALING

  As a holistic nurse, I believe our health is more than our physical bodies. It is my belief that only when we approach health from a physicial, emotional, and spiritual framework can true healing begin. Healing doesn’t always mean curing. Healing can be an emotional letting go, even in times of transition from this life through the doors of leaving this world. Another favorite book of mine is Emotional Healing with Essential Oils.

SET UP YOUR SPACE

  Create a space for healing, prayer, meditation, and worship. This area needs to be clean, cleared, and de-cluttered. Set up your diffuser with a nice meditative or grounding blend. You can contact me directly at joyce@theessentialnurse.com  to discuss the oils I use and what is suggested for your particular need. Create a peaceful environment by placing a comfortable chair and soft lighting system. I am adding a waterfall fountain table top piece to my room where I write, pray, have my Bible study.

 HEALING PROPERTIES

 Properties of essential oils can can include relaxation, emotional release, stress reduction, energy, spiritual healing, balance, meditative, focus, grounding, centering, releasing, any many more. Don’t you feel overwhelmed many days by the hustle and bustle of responsibilities and duties? Taking time to step back, breathe, and become still for even a few minutes can often times bring balance to your energy that will enable you to continue without all the stress and disruption in your spirit.

 

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Pursuit of Wellness: Finding Meaning

Life altering events experienced by others can cause a reevaluation of your goals and priorities, sending you down a soul searching path on your journey to wellness. This weekend a co-worker that I have known for over ten years who was 12 years younger than myself experienced a massive heart attack while at work caring for his patients. He is so caring in nature, I know if I were in the hospital he would be someone I would want taking care of me. I happened to be working during this shift, but did not find out about it until I was home after my shift. Our prayers are with him and his family as he recovers from emergency open heart surgery. This event has shaken me similar to another event occurring a few years ago.

     About four and a half years ago, I was getting ready to go home for the weekend. At the time I was the nurse manager of a very busy and growing Cancer Center and Heart Failure Department. This was the job of my dreams, and although I had dreams of pursuing my own business, I never saw myself doing anything career wise, except for the role I was in. I ran into Jane, a co-worker I had become close to that worked in another department. She was just so fun and artsy, and seemed so carefree. She was discussing that she had seen her brother the weekend before, and they had birthdays just a few days apart. For those few days they were both 50. She had just turned 51, and he was now 50. Jane always had a smile on her face and I just loved her positive energy. I returned to work on Monday to find out Jane developed chest pain while taking a shower the day before, and was dead of a heart attack before the ambulance could even reach her home. Several of us attended the wake, where we met her adult children and husband. There was a slide presentation playing that captured the very essence of who she was.

     This event sent me in a tailspin in finding meaning and purpose. I had unfulfilled dreams. Whew! It was the beginning of a journey which lasted for several years.

      Spiritually, I am a Christian, and wasn’t having issues with my spirituality. I knew I had a secure relationship with God and wasn’t calling that into question. My soul searching came in when I asked myself if I had contributed everything I wanted to contribute in this life. The answer was no. I had several books I wanted to write. I always thought one day I would have a successful business in health and wellness,as well as being that successful writer. I wanted to my life to count and I wanted to fulfill what I felt was my real purpose in being on this earth. I was that frog slowly boiling to death in a pan of heated water, and didn’t realize it until that moment. It was a life defining moment for me.

     A few weeks later I gave notice at the job I thought I would never leave and stepped into a nurse staffing position that would allow me to have my weekdays free while working on the weekends. I thought working three days a week, versus five would allow me more time to work on some writing projects and start a wellness business. Four years have gone by and many life events have occurred since then. My daughter wanted to go to nursing school, and I was actually able to keep her little boy in my home while she finished her dream of going to nursing school. She has now achieved a dream of hers and is a nurse. It wasn’t always easy keeping a little one again, but I have a bond with my grandson I may not have had otherwise.

     Over four years have passed, and I have gone halfway to obtaining another degree in nursing. Most fulfilling for me was to find the coaching education. I have completed two very outstanding wellness coaching programs. I now am writing for several websites, including my own. The connections I have made over the past few months have enriched my life so completely. Currently, I am transitioning from traditional nursing to using my nursing in more of a wellness and entrepreneurial role. As I  complete classes with the Wellness Inventory, I again find myself at a crossroads. I know it is time for the next step in my journey to follow what I believe is a God ordained purpose for my life.

      As I heard of my co-worker this weekend, I had feelings similar to when my friend Jane died. It’s time to take action. Again, I am faced with finding meaning in the road I am travelling.  There was a 16 year old girl killed in our town from a car accident this weekend. She was the best friend of one of my co-workers niece. Actually her niece was in the wreck with her, and survived. These situations are so heart rendering. It compels me forward to realize how precious life is. It compels me forward to make sure I am living my life on purpose. It compels me forward to continue to be who God has already made me to be.

     I shared these experiences, because I know I am not the only one that was on a road at a cruising altitude. Life is too short to not pursue the dreams God has placed inside you. Part of living well is finding meaning. Not only is it important to find that meaning, but to walk into it.

     If you are going through life changing events and are trying to get back on track or even get off the track you are on and onto another track, you may want to consider a coach. Coaching will assist you with the tools to become your best self. You already have your goals and dreams inside you. Take the step to propel yourself forward. You can contact me through this site and I would love help you set the goals for the changes you want to make in your life.